The important things in life

A philosophy professor stood before his class with some items on the table in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, about 2 inches in diameter.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He then asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “Yes.”

“Now,” said the professor, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The rocks are the important things – your family, your partner, your health, your children – things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter – like your job, your house, your car.

The sand is everything else. The small stuff.”

“If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued “there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal.

Take care of the rocks first – the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”



Stephen on September 13, 2008 ·




On Wednesday we began the season of Lent which is our preparation for the Easter celebration of Jesus’ resurrection. It is a time in imitation of Jesus spending forty days in the desert. Jesus fasted in the desert, and overcame the devil’s temptations. Jesus never sinned but in the desert he was tempted, and during these forty days of Lent we remember Jesus in the desert as we try to overcome temptation in our lives and to overcome sinfulness. There is practically no hiding place or shelter in the desert and the difficulties of the desert make whatever is inside a person come to the surface. The desert tests and shows up a person as he/she is. Lent is an invitation to us to take the courageous step of “going into the desert” and not hiding from what lies hidden deep within us. Lent is a time to put our souls before a mirror and see ourselves as we really are. Lent is an invitation to allow our sin and darkness and wounds come to the surface so that we can deal with them and allow them to be healed by the grace of Jesus. During these forty days of Lent, we do not hide from our sinfulness or prevent God speaking to us or healing us during this Lent. It is only when we admit something that we can deal with it. The first stage in overcoming anything is to admit the problem. If we remain in denial we miss out on the grace of God to heal us and renew us and make us whole. During Lent we say no to the devil’s temptations to continue committing sin, and instead we trust in our heavenly Father like Jesus in the desert. The words of Jesus can be our words this Lent, “Man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.” (Matt 4:4) Lent is not only about helping others, about doing something, it is also very much about the type of person we are.

Since the early centuries the Church has suggested three things that we undertake during Lent – prayer, fasting and almsgiving. It is for this reason that the Gospel text for Ash Wednesday every year is Jesus’ advice on prayer, fasting and almsgiving (Matt 6:1-6, 16-18). During Lent we want to pray more, fast and help the poor.

Lent is a time for more prayer. We live busy lives and there is much emphasis on enjoying life but a life without prayer is a life without the joy of the presence of God. If we do not pray we are not Christians at full potential; we are only walking when we could be flying. Martha was busy serving when Jesus came but Mary spent time with him and Jesus said, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. There is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part and it will not be taken from her.” (Luke 10:41-42) Lent is not only about helping others and doing something, it is also very much about the type of person that we are. We pray because all goodness comes from God and when we pray we touch God. There is a difference between a do-gooder and a Christian. A Christian is a do-gooder who also prays. God is our loving Father who greatly desires us to allow him close to us, so we pray more this Lent to experience more of the joy of know God our Father.

Fasting is a penance the Church encourages us to undertake during Lent. From the spiritual point of view, fasting symbolizes our dependence on God. It expresses the fact that we really are trying to put God first in our life. The Bible tells us that fasting from food must go together with fasting from violence and fasting from oppressing people (Isa 58:3-12). In other words, when we fast from food it is to be accompanied by a loving and forgiving attitude towards others. We could say that fasting from food in itself is not what is important, it is what the fasting symbolizes that really matters. So to fast in a way that is genuinely pleasing to God, can we make an effort to forgive those who have hurt us and not harbor resentment any longer? Why do we need to keep up grudges? Is it merely because we like to be in control? Perhaps to forgive, we also need to give up our need to dominate and control others. If we have a problem forgiving someone, we can share it with the Lord and ask his help and grace so that we may forgive. While we may not forget we certainly do not want to live being dominated by past wounds. We want to live in the present free of the past.

For almsgiving or helping the poor, the Church makes it easy for us by giving us the opportunity to contribute to Catholic aid agencies. Helping the poor during Lent brings the words of Jesus to mind, “Whatever you did to one of the least of these you did to me.” (Matt 25:45)